Ahh...Politica

I've been shying away from politics as of late. No particular reason, just the usual suspects: still nauseated from the last round of attack ads, six years suffering from a nasty case of Bushitis, the discovery and enjoyment of extended moments of clarity obtained from not beating my cranium against the Great Wall of Politics, etc. It's been a fun vacation - took lots of pictures, even went a beach or two. But, alas, to all things there must come an end.

In retrospect, I should have seen it coming - McCain announcing his pre-announcement on Lettermen, Hunter S. Thompson's account of the '92 election that I happened across recently at the library, Bill Maher and Ann Coulter causing shame and panic over the airwaves...for the umpteenth time - it's all there.

I feel like Michael Corleone in Godfather III, "Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in."

Despite being the only arena where, amazingly enough, one vote actually can make a difference, I've never had much a stomach for local politics. I read up on the issues, vote, sometimes I even sign a petition or two - all the citizenship 101 b.s. - but it just doesn't do it for me, not like national politics. Local politics is like waking up on Christmas morning hoping to find a Beatles record under the tree and opening the Monkees instead.

There's something about the sheer absurdity and bratty schoolyard decorum of presidential politics that make it irresistible. I liken it to a rape fantasy...I know no matter what I do, no matter what resistance I put up, nothing will change the inevitable - that dog and pony show is bought and sold long before November - but something deep inside tells me to go for it anyway. C'mon Ike, hit me one more time.

Not only is the race a pile of shit, the office itself is meaningless - that much is obvious to most folks by the sixth grade - voting for president is like voting for American Idol, or America's Next Top Fashion Victim. It's just another popularity contest to decide the next golden calf. Barring group sex with members of the Supreme Court, few things in life have the ability to make you feel as sleazy and patriotic at the same time. (Yes, I realize Scalia was probably joking, it still paints a grim picture.)

Over the next few days I'm going to weigh in with my opinion on the candidates. Some of them may seem superficial, but this ain't philosophy we're talking about, it's politics, the whole freaking thing is superficial.

I love the smell of politics in the morning.

Stay Tuned...

Tags: politics, 2008 election

posted by m/a/z/e  [6:56 AM]   0 comments