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Orange Sunshine v1.0

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  Thursday, June 29, 2006
Cravings
"We've all listened to and read our share of breathless reports from trippers, yet for most people this discovery is a glorious surprise. Mystics come back raving about higher levels of perception where one sees realities a hundred times more beautiful and meaningful than the reassuringly familiar scripts of normal life.

For most people it's a life-changing shock to learn that their everyday reality circuit is one among dozens of circuits, which, when turned on are equally real, pulsing with strange forms and mysterious biological signals. Accelerated, amplified some of these alternate realities cane be microscopic in exquisite detail, others telescopic.

Since psychedelic drugs expose us to different levels of perception and experience, use of them is ultimately a philosophic enterprise, compelling us to confront the nature of reality and the nature of our fragile belief systems. The contrast is what triggers the laughter, the error. We discover abruptly that we have been programmed all these years, that everything we accept as reality is just social fabrication." - Timothy Leary from Flashbacks: An Autobiography


Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The More Things Change...
It all seemed so idiotic all the accusations of unpatriotic
The fall we'll always remember, capitulating silence
election November before the winter
of the long hot summer
Somewhere in the desert
we raised the oil pressure
and waited for the weather
to get much better
for the new wind to blow in the storm
We tried to remember the history in the region
the French foreign legion, Imperialism,
Peter O'Toole and hate the Ayatollah
were all we learned in school
Not that we gave Hussein five billion
Not of our new bed partner the Syrian
and of course no mention of the Palestine situation
It was amazing how they steamrolled
They said eighty percent approval
but there was no one that I knew polled
No one had a reason for being in the Gulf
We waited for congress to speak up illegal build up
But no one would wake up
Our representatives were Milli Vanilli's
for corporate Dallas Cowboy Beverly Hillbillies
With perfect timing
the politicians rhyming their sentiments
so nicely oil gold and sand
my sediments precisely....
We regretfully support the lunacy
I'm afraid there is no time for more scrutiny
National unity preserve our community
Teflon election opportunities
were in profundant abundance

On January second the Bush administration
announced a recession had stricken
the Nation the highest quarterly
earnings in ten years were posted
by Chevron
Meanwhile a budget was placed in our hands
as the deadline in the sand came to an end
so much for the peace dividend
one billion a day is what we spent
and our grandchildren will pay for it 'til the end
When schools are unfunded
and kids don't get their diplomas
they get used for gun boat diplomacy
disproportionately
black or brown we see
bullet catchers for the slave master

Then the conservatives called up reservists
to active service left families nervous
but more importantly broke nine hundred a month
but the check came late, army red tape you see,
this golden opportunity
We watched the tube and read the newspaper
The propaganda of the gas masked raper
was the proper slander to whip up the hatred

The stage was lit and the lights were all faded
The pilots in night vision goggles Kuwaited and
generals masturbated
'til the fifteenth two days later they invaded
Not a single t.v. station expressed dissension or
hardly made mention to the censorship of information
from our kinder and gentler nation
blinder and mentaler retardation
DISORIENTATION
The pilots said their bombs lit Baghdad
like a Christmas tree
It was the Christian thing to do you see
they didn't mention any casualties
no distinction between the real
and the proxy
only football analogies

We saw the bomb hole
We watched the Super Bowl
We saw the scud missile
We watched Bud commercials
We saw the yellow ribbons
Saw pilots in prison
We never saw films of the dead...at eleven
Angela Davis addressed the spectators
and shouting above a rumbling generator said
if they insist on bringing us down
then let's shut the whole country down
Marching through the downtown
A hundred thousand became participants
and we heard the drums of millions off in the distance
rushing through the cities
some of them did things that weren't so pretty
most were there for primal scream therapy
news men concentrated
on the negative liked the jingoists more
peaceful protesters ended up
on the cutting room floor
Nintendo casualties of the ratings war
More bombs dropped than in World War II
on in both Asian invasions, new world order persuasion,
Business as usual
for our nation
Could you imagine a hundred fifty thousand dead,
the city of Stockton
coffins locked in when we clocked in...not to mention
civilians
The loss of life on both sides
pushed the limits of resilience
The scent of blood in our nostrils
fuel of the fossil land of apostle
The blackness that covered the sky was not the only thing
that brought a tear to the eye or
the taste of anger to the tongues
of those too young to remember Vietnam

Is heroin better in a veteran's mind
than the memory of the dying laying in a line
Is it the smell or the shadows heaving and weeping
that keeps the soldier from sleeping
as he sings the orphan's lullaby
When the soldiers put down their bayonets
the strings are chained to the marionettes
Emir of Kuwait gets back in his jet
we replace the dead with new cadets
will we hate those who did the shelling
or will we hate those who weren't willing to do the killing
when the leaders of the bald eagles come home to roost
will we sing a song of praise and indebtedness
for our deliverance from evil
or will we sing a song of sadness
for the dreaded debt this mess delivered us PEOPLE. - The Winter of the Long Hot Summer by Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy


Snakes in the Grass
Sen. John McCain thought he had a deal when President Bush, faced with a veto-proof margin in Congress, agreed to sign a bill banning the torture of detainees. Not quite. While Bush signed the new law, he also quietly approved another document: a signing statement reserving his right to ignore the law. McCain was furious, and so were other lawmakers.

The Senate Judiciary Committee is opening hearings this week into what has become the White House's favorite tool for overriding Congress in the name of wartime national security.

"It's a challenge to the plain language of the Constitution," the committee's chairman, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa, said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm interested to hear from the administration just what research they've done to lead them to the conclusion that they can cherry-pick."

Apparently, enough to challenge more than 750 statutes passed by Congress, far more than any other president, Specter's committee says. The White House does not dispute that number, but points out that Bush is far from the nation's first chief executive to issue them. - Yahoo


Sunday, June 25, 2006
Pills I Took
Well, I've been awake for eight days straight
Well, it must've been them pills I took.
I been twitchin' an' turnin' an' seein' visions
It must've been them pills I took.

Well, I don't know if it were an' I don't know where I got 'em,
But they sure did make me feel good.
They kept my heart from feelin' blue,
An' kept my thoughts away from you.

Well, there's blood on the carpet an' holes in the walls:
Well, it must've been them pills I took.
Yeah, the mirrors are all busted an' someone's cryin'
It must've been them pills I took.

I've lied an' I've stole an' I ain't fuckin' jokin'
It must've been them pills I took.
Yeah, the mirrors are all busted an' someone's cryin'
It must've been them pills I took.

I still don't know if it were an' I don't know where I got 'em,
But they sure did make me feel good.
They kept my heart from feelin' blue,
An' kept my thoughts away from you. - Hank Williams III


III



Meth
Today's Reno Gazette-Journal has a huge spread on meth addiction in Northern Nevada. Coming from Portland, which was tweak central, none of it, sadly, is new news.

The articles themselves are all informative and well written, but did they really need to include the recipe for manufacturing meth in the article?

It reminds me of Portland when the local news stations broadcast the exact locations of drunk driving check points set up by the local police department.


Saturday, June 24, 2006
Springsteen on Conan
Worth staying home for - if not for the music, for Thomas Hayden Church's Frankenstein impersonation during Pay Me My Money Down.

Bring Them Home (If You Love Your Uncle Sam)

If you love this land of the free
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring them back from overseas
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

It will make the politicians sad, I know
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
They wanna tangle with their foe
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

They wanna test their grand theories
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
With the blood of you and me
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Now we'll give no more brave young lives
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
For the gleam in someone's eyes
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

(Hooo-hooo hooo-hooo)
(Hooo-hooo hooo-hooo)

The men will cheer and the boys will shout
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Yeah and we will all turn out
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

The church bells will ring with joy
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
To welcome our garland girls and boys
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

We willl lift their voice and sound
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Yeah, when Johnny comes marching home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring them back from overseas
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

If you love this land of the free
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring them back from overseas
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home
Bring 'em home, bring 'em home

Pete Seeger (additional lyrics by Bruce Springsteen)


Friday, June 23, 2006
My Favorite Showbiz Story
From Jay Leno's book, Leading with my Chin...

"There are technical nuances in television that took some getting used to. For instance, at one point, I found myself booked on Dinah Shore's syndicated daytime talk show. That day, I went in and met with the talent coordinator, who said, "Okay, what's your last joke, so the band knows when to play you off?" In showbiz parlance, this is called the outcue, which mainly serves to cover any dead air. So, as soon as a comedian ends, the band always jumps right in--ba daaah! baaam paah! daaah dooo! Comedians hate this because it steps on the laugh and drowns it out. Which is like a check not clearing at the bank. Very embarrassing. And, certainly, unsatisfying.

So I said to the talent coordinator, "Listen, do I have to give my last line?"

"Well, how's the bandleader going to know when you're done?"

I said, "Well, I like to hear the laugh, How about if I just say, 'Thank you, thank you very much!' Twice, okay? And that'll be the cue.

He agreed to this and went to tell the guys in the band. During the show, I waited backstage for my introduction from Dinah Shore. Finally, I heard her say, "Now we're going to bring out a very funny young man from Boston. He's got a unique brand of comedy. Please welcome, Mr. Jay Leno. Come out here Jay!"

Because Dinah was such a warm presence, she tended to infect audiences with her own enthusiasm. And this audience took her lead and responded with a long, wonderful round of applause. It was almost unnatural. They even went, "Wooooo! Wooooo!"

I walked out, surprised and feeling like hot stuff.

I started with: "I'm from the United States! Are there any United States people here!"

This got a huge ovation--much more so than such a lame joke deserved.

So I said, "Oh! Thank you! Thank you very much!"

At which point, the bandleader looked up in a panic, threw down his magazine, stubbed out his cigarette--and started playing me off!

"BAAA DAAAAH! BAAAAAM PAHHHH! BAAA BAAAHH! DAAAAH! DAHHHHHN TAAAAAA!"

And I stood there stunned.

Meanwhile, Dinah, who had been reading through her notes, looked up, smiled broadly, and started applauding. Which started the audience applauding wildly!

Now she was waving me over to her: "Come on over here, Jay! Come on over here!"

So I shrugged and walked over to her couch.

Still beaming, she said, "Sit right down! That's some of the freshest material I've heard in a long time!"

Was anyone paying attention here?

So I just sat down and said, "Well, thank you very much! At this rate, I could do this show eighty, ninety times a year!"

And, naturally, no one seemed to know what I was talking about. It was the most ridiculous shot of my career"

I'd kill to see a tape of that episode.



Yummy!

Stem cell research has taken a new turn: scientists around the globe are using stem cells to grow edible meat in the lab. They're not anywhere near developing a synthetically-grown steak just yet, but Dutch professor Henk Haagsman and his associates think mass-produced, lab-cultured ground meat could be in stores as soon as 2009.

Haagsman is a professor of meat sciences at Utrecht University. At the moment, they're only capable of producing very small masses of meat. The nutrient solutions used to create the lab-bred meat can cost up to $10,000 per pound. But according to Jason Matheny of the University of Maryland, the cost could go down to $1 per pound if the certain plants and fungal sources can be utilized for the process. - How Stuff Works

Disgusting, yet fascinating. Kind of like Ann Coulter.


Sunday, June 18, 2006
Wanted


Saturday, June 17, 2006
Apple Uber Alles
"When Apple Computer announced back in April that its new Intel-powered Macintosh computers could run the Windows XP operating system as well as its own Mac OS X, the news was treated as a big deal. It meant that people considering switching from Windows to the Mac no longer had to worry about being unable to run the one or two Windows programs they relied on that might have no equivalent on the Apple platform. They could buy a Mac, work mainly in the nearly virus-free Macintosh operating system, and simply fire up Windows occasionally -- on the very same Mac -- to run any Windows software they needed.

Now, there's an even better approach to running Windows on a Mac. It's called Parallels Desktop for Mac, and it's from a small Herndon, Va., company called Parallels. It emerges from testing today and goes on sale for $79 at the company's Web site, parallels.com" - Wall Street Journal


Friday, June 16, 2006
And It's Not Even Christmas
The Supreme Court made it easier Thursday for police to barge into homes and seize evidence without knocking or waiting, a sign of the court's new conservatism with Samuel Alito on board

The court, on a 5-4 vote, said judges cannot throw out evidence collected by police who have search warrants but do not properly announce their arrival. - Yahoo

Next up, voting ruled unconstitional.

Where's NWA when you need them?


11 Million Years
The first pictures showing a live specimen of a rodent species once thought to have been extinct for 11 million years have been taken by a retired Florida State University professor and a Thai wildlife biologist. - Yahoo

Coelacanth.
Megamouth Shark.
Giant Squid.
Diatomyidae.

Dorothy, you're still in Kansas...perhaps you should check out the neighborhoods.


Government Cheeseheads
More than 2,200 Oregon taxpayers' identities were stolen by a keylogging Trojan horse that infected a state PC after an Oregon Department of Revenue worker browsed porn sites, officials admitted this week. - Yahoo

It's kind of sad when the news and the punchline are one in the same.


Thursday, June 15, 2006
Hope Dashed
Ann Coulter vs. George Carlin?

Boring.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Handbags & Gladrags
Ever seen a blind man cross the road?
trying to make the other side
Ever seen a young girl growing old?
trying to make herself a bride

So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you of
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Once I was a young man
And all I thought I had to do was smile
well You are still a young girl
And you've bourne everything in style

So once you think you're in you're out
'Cause you don't mean a single thing without
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Sing a song of six-pence for your sake
And drink a bottle full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds in a cake
And bake 'em all in a pie

They told me you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

They told me you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you


Another Interesting Yahoo Article
"No longer just for indie bands and tales of teen angst, the networking Web site MySpace.com is the latest outlet for authors to hook up with editors, sell books and seek solace when they're lonely. " - Yahoo

Damn lonely writers. Actually the article is pretty interesting.


My Vote Goes to PS3
Interesting article on Yahoo re: xBox vs. PS3...

"It's been a little over a year since Sony first announced its upcoming PlayStation 3 console. In that time, plenty of hype (not to mention barbs) have flown between the Microsoft and Sony camps, each attempting to tout their machine as the "better" offering." - Yahoo

For a while I was wavering, but I'm staying loyal to Sony.


Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Reading Reno
The Washoe County Library System just reached a milestone with more than two million items checked out this fiscal year. To celebrate this historic event, the library system has designated Thursday, June 22, as "Over the Top" day.

During the 2004-05 fiscal year, library patrons checked out 1,982,306 items. On May 31, 2006, the library system hit the two million mark for the first time and will go well over that amount by the time the library's fiscal year ends on June 30, 2006. - Washoe County Library


Don't Miss It.
Tomorrow night two of my favorite comedians, George Carlin and Ann Coulter (Actually, I think Carlin is just okay. I'm more into him for what he's done, than what he's doing if that makes sense.) go head to head on the Tonight Show. I'm more interested in the conversation that will be happening in the Green Room, but I'll take what I can get.


Friday, June 09, 2006
Sick, Sad World
A Missouri woman has been arrested for breaking into a dog breeder's home and beating her repeatedly over the head with a dead Chihuahua. - Yahoo

Thursday, June 08, 2006
Rumsfeld: The Next Generation



















The infamous "Live Long & Prosper" speech before Star Fleet Command. Circa 2054.

Alternate Title: We mean harm to your planet.


AP Headline
Bush Says Deportation 'Ain't Gonna Work'

But that doesn't mean we can't try.

Deport Bush.


Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Man Threatens Plane After Being Denied Job
"A Saudi man faces federal charges, for allegedly threatening to blow up a Delta Air Lines flight -- apparently because he was angry he'd been denied a job as an interpreter for the U.S. Military." - KUTV

Alternate headline: Man Never Gets Another Job Ever Again.


Sunday, June 04, 2006
An Inconvenient Truth
"In 39 years, I have never written these words in a movie review, but here they are: You owe it to yourself to see this film. If you do not, and you have grandchildren, you should explain to them why you decided not to." - Roger Ebert


Why I don't open the back door.
Overheard yesterday as we had the back porch door open...

"I'm telling mom you're tickling your wiener!"


Crash
Finally got around to seeing Crash last night. Excellent flick, but then I've yet to see a bad movie with Don Cheadle in it. Still, I kept thinking I was watching the alternate universe Magnolia - same wierd connections, only this time it all made sense.



More Celebrity Sex Dreams.
First Tina Turner, now Ricky Gervais.

Not sure what's up with my nocturnal subconscious, but things are getting out of control.

Last night's outing starred Ricky Gervais - David Brent from BBC's The Office - trying to con Molliwogg and myself into a threesome.

Just to make it a bit more Freudian, the whole scene went down in my mom's old house in Anchorage.

It started out pleasantly enough - we were having a great conversation with Ricky in the living room, when he starts dropping hints that he would like to take the lead in a three-way dance. Now I've found stranger things in my bed than British comedians, and I'm a huge fan of The Office (again, the BBC version, not the pitiful NBC clone), but getting down and dirty with David Brent just isn't in the cards - dreaming or not.

After trying to politely change the subject several times, I finally have to tell him straight out that sex is out the question. He didn't take the news well. Gervais totally flipped out and went on a rant about how the only reason he showed up was to have a threesome. Homeboy worked himself into such a tizzy that I thought I was going to have to take him out. Then he stormed out of the house.

You'd think the dream would return to some semblance of normality at this point, but you'd be wrong. No sooner had our horny Englishman left the house than I hear the tell-tale sounds of a beltsander firing up (as if I know what a beltsander sounds like, but that's beside the point). I rushed outside to find my garage door open and Gervais stalking towards my car, beltsander in hand.

Luckily, the sander was plugged into the interior of the garage and I was able to fend him off by closing the garage door and rushing over to unplug the sander.

I woke up shortly after that.

Welcome to my world.


Saturday, June 03, 2006
Now More Than Ever

Friday, June 02, 2006
Quote
Beavis your balls are filthy...go to the ball-washer.


Thursday, June 01, 2006
Run DMC
Mary, Mary...Why You Buggin'?


Too Funny
A few customers have asked where they can go to see a live mammoth.

"They're not really clued in to the fact that they're extinct," Lynd said. - Yahoo

So, where you hiding all the dinosaurs?

Another Wrestler in Politics
Former WWE tag team champion Nikolai Volkoff is for state assembly in Maryland. Apparently his opponents take umbrage to the pro-communist character Volkoff portrayed when he was a full-time wrestler.

"He was the Tokyo Rose of the 1980s," says Impallaria. "He made his living spitting on the American flag and singing the Russian national anthem. Now he can say he was just doing a job. Tokyo Rose was just doing a job, too."

Adds McDonough: "He did spit on the flag. I consider that reprehensible. Anybody can run for office. You can't go around saying your wrestling career doesn't matter. Volkoff isn't even the name on his birth certificate. People need to know everything."

As any good wrestler would when given a platform, Volkoff leveled some smack of his own at his antagonists. "Impallaria - that guy has 27 arrests," he says. "How do you get arrested that much?"

Asked to respond to Volkoff's blast, Impallaria says, "A lot of people are charged with a lot of things, but the real question is: Have you ever been convicted of anything?" - Washington City Paper

The Tokyo Rose of the 1980's? Too funny. The rest of the article is equally over the top.


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