Friday, April 28, 2006
Quote
"When you're six, most of your Bingo balls are still floating around in the draw-tank." - Stephen King
Friday, April 21, 2006
Musica
Things to do when you're bored #159,833: Go through old ticket stubs and list every concert you've seen. As I can't remember all of the local/indie show's I've seen, I'm only listing the majors (ie: Show's I have a ticket stub for).
First Show: Dio and Dokken 12.05.1984 Sullivan Arena - Anchorage, Alaska
Last Show: Prince 09.01.2004 Rose Garden - Portland, Oregon
Concerts I've Seen: 7 Year Bitch, A Tribe Called Quest, Bryan Adams, Anthrax, Arrested Development, Babes in Toyland, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Bad Religion, Beastie Boys, The Bloodhound Gang, David Bowie (x2), The Breeders, Busta Rhymes, Cannibal Corpse, Christian Death (x3), George Clinton, Concrete Blonde (x2), The Cramps (x2), The Cure (x2), Dandy Warhols (x4), Depeche Mode, Dinosaur Jr. Dio, Dokken, Electric Hellfire Club, Everclear, Fishbone, The Flaming Lips, Foetus, Front 242, Fugazi, Nelly Furtado, Grateful Dead, Green Day (x4), Arlo Guthrie (x2), Incubus, Indigo Girls, Chris Isaak (x2), Jane's Addiction, Jim Rose Circus Sideshow (x4), L7 (x2), Love & Rockets, Love Battery, Luna, Lush, Marilyn Manson (x2), Ministry, Misfits, Moby (x2), Monster Magnet (A whopping 45 seconds worth), New Order, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Nine Inch Nails, Mojo Nixon (x3), NOFX, The Orb, Ozzy Osbourne, Outkast, The Pixies, Primus (x2-ironic considering I hate Primus), Prince (x2), R.E.M., Rage Against the Machine, The Ramones, REO Speedwagon (don't ask), Rev. Horton Heat, The Roots, David Sanborn, John Sebastian, Shohen Knife (x2), Smashing Pumpkins, Social Distortion (x2), Sonic Youth (x2), Spearhead (x11), Stabbing Westward, They Might Be Giants, Tool, Ween, X.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Excerpt
The worst thing I've ever done was on The Princess Bride. During the Fire Swamp sequence.
For those of you who don't know, and how dare you not, Buttercup and Westley are being pursued by her fiance, Prince Humperdink. They are forced to go through the Fire Swamp, not easy - no one has ever come out of it alive.
One of the dangers in the Fire Swamp is the flame spurts.
These unexpected streaks of flame happen there and when I wrote the novel, well, Buttercup and Westley area making their way through the place, and suddenly flames - her dress is on fire.
Westley saves her.
Okay. Pinewood Studios. The glorious Norman Garwood Fire Swamp set. This is my dream come true, watching this baby happen, and you can bet I am tense, but for me, kind of almost happy.
Okay. Roll of drums please.
Rob Reiner says "Action" and now here comes Cary Elwes as Westley leading my beloved Robin Wright as Buttercup into the Fire Swamp and they are making their way through the place -
- and suddenly flames -
- and I scream out loud, "Her dress is on fire!" - From What Lie Did I Tell? More Adventures in the Screen Trade by William Goldman
I almost lost it when I read that. Too funny.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Criminal Glossary (Pinkertons)
According to the Crime Library the following list of definitions was released by the Pinkerton National Detective Agency sometime in the 1880's.
- Bull an officer (of the law)
- Chip money drawer (in a bank)
- Dump jail (or boarding house)
- Gay Cat one who cases banks and towns for future jobs
- Jimmying a bull shooting an officer
- Oil (or Soup) nitroglycerine (used to open many a bank vault)
- Settled sentenced to prison
- Yegg (or John Yegg) bandit chief
What a difference 120 years makes. Could these be any more homoerotic?
Dreaming is Free
I need to start writing down my dreams first thing in the morning. I've always had pretty weird dreams (freaky dreams about Muppets, turning into either Huey, Duey or Louie, killing space aliens in the local Pay-n-Save, a series of connected teeth shattering dreams, etc.), but over the last week the shit has hit the fan.
I've forgotten most of them soon after I woke up. Each time I told Molliwogg, but she can't remember either. I do remember the salient points about two of the dreams though.
In the first one, I'm trapped in a mall located on a beach. Why is the mall located on the beach? I don't know. Why am I trapped inside? Because King Kong keeps coming out of the water Godzilla-style every time I try and leave. He even fights a dinosaur on the beach, scaring the pants off everyone in the process. At the least the dream is staying true to the movie.
I'm still a little foggy about the overall plot of the second dream. All I remember is that it involved Conan O'Brien going postal throwing bombs everywhere while flying on a magic carpet. To be honest I'm not sure if I want to know what was happening in that one.
I'm down with a little surrealism to help pass the time, but this is getting out of hand.
Monday, April 10, 2006
O Goofy Where Art Thou?
You know, I've watched O Brother, Where Art Thou a few dozen times now but I never really noticed something until I started playing Kingdom Hearts II. Is Delmar O'Donnell (Tim Blake Nelson) based on Goofy?
I also have a theory that Morgan Freeman's character (Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris) in Million Dollar Baby is actually Satan. Most people think I'm nuts for that one, I'll have to write it out sometime.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Your head smells like a puppy!
My daughter has somehow managed to not only get me, but Molliwogg as well, irreversibly hooked on Invader Zim. The show has gone from minor annoyance to daily fix in the matter of a few months. Curses!
Anyway, here's some of the funnier quotes from the show.
Dib: What about his horrible green head?
Zim: INSOLENT SCHOOLBOY - it's a skin condition.
Dib: And he's got no ears! Is that part of your skin condition, Zim? No ears?
Zim: Yes. Zim: At this very moment I'm in a microscopic submersible somewhere in your disgusting belly attached to your arm control nerve.
Dib: Arm control nerve?
Zim: Yes, arm control nerve.
Dib: In my belly?
Zim: Yes.
Dib: Humans don't have arm control nerves.
Zim: Do not question me! I control your arms! Zim: Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins! Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing? Gir: But I neeeeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes. Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now. Zim: You can't escape by teleporter, little Gaz. I cut the power! Your pitiful attempt to escape is nothing but a PITIFUL FAILURE! Stupid, stinking humans!
Gaz: Doesn't this spaceship have any escape pods?
Zim: Of course; they're right over there. Ms. Bitters: Zim!
Zim: Sir!
Ms. Bitters: There's a pigeon on your head. You have headpigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the rest of the children. Gir: Your head smells like a puppy! Gir: Hi floor! Make me a sandwich! Zim: Don't worry, officer. You are in a filthy Earth brain hospital. Your feelings are normal. There's a squid brain in your head! Zim: [Mocking a kid hit by a kickball] Ow, my organs! Buahahaha. Inferior human organs!
[Zim gets hit by the ball]
Zim: Boh! My squeedily spooch!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Mary Had a Little Drug Problem
John turned me on to this series of blog entries (five so far) by Kevin Smith documenting Jason Mewes addiction. Pretty interesting stuff.
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