Tuesday, January 31, 2006
The Vampire Party Goes Down
"Self-described vampire and Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey has been arrested on Indiana charges of stalking and escape.
Sharkey is wanted in Indianapolis on the charges on which bond has been set at $100,000, the Princeton (Minn.) Union-Eagle reported." - UPI
You know it's crap like this that keeps the Vampire Party from ever getting a foot in the door in traditional politics. (For those lacking a sense of humor, that is a joke.)
I've actually been accused of being a vampire before, I'll have to share that story sometime, it's pretty funny.
State of the Union Democratic Response.
"I'm Tim Kaine, the Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia. It's an honor to give the Democratic response to President Bush on behalf of my Commonwealth, my fellow Democratic governors and the Democratic Party.
I worked as a missionary in Honduras when I was a young man and I learned to measure my life by the difference I can make in someone else's life. Coretta Scott King embodied that value and tonight, as a nation, we mourn her passing. Our faith and values teach us that there is no higher calling than serving others.
The federal government should serve the American people. But that mission is frustrated by this Administration's poor choices and bad management. Families in the Gulf Coast see that as they wait to rebuild their lives. Americans who lose their jobs see that as they look to rebuild their careers. And our soldiers in Iraq see that as they try to rebuild a nation.
As Americans, we do great things when we work together. Some of our leaders in Washington seem to have forgotten that. I want to offer some good news tonight - I just saved a bundle on my car insurance."
Come on, I'm not the only one who thought he was going to say that am I?
Monday, January 30, 2006
Quote of the year...
...and it's only January.
"I think this president is a man of unimpeachable integrity. The American people have profound confidence in him." - Mike Pence R-Ind.
Seriously, what is this guy smoking?
Saturday, January 28, 2006
''I always asked people, 'How many times did you see him?' 'Once.' 'Once?' That was like seeing the Grateful Dead once,'' says Randy Kagan, a friend and fellow stand-up who frequently opened for Hedberg. ''You can't see the Dead once. You had to see 'em over and over again to get an idea. That was what Mitch was like to me.'' - EW
I only saw him once, but damn it was cool.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Big Brother is Watching You
"But it's important for people to understand that this program is so sensitive and so important that if information gets out to how we run it or how we operate it, it'll help the enemy," he said. "Why tell the enemy what we're doing?" - AP
The enemy in this case being you.
So Long & Thanks For All The Fish.
A NESSIE hunt using a team of dolphins was planned by the Tory government, according to declassified secret documents.
Within days of the 1979 election, officials in Margaret Thatcher's regime proposed importing the mammals from America and fitting them with hi-tech equipment to scour Loch Ness.
Despite opposition from animal rights groups, it was argued that finding the monster would benefit local tourism. - U.K. Mirror
On the Trail of the Brontosaurus (1927)
A BIG-GAME hunting expedition now engaged in Central Africa under the leadership of Lieut.-Col. H. F. Fenn, D.S.O., intends to film gorillas in the as-yet-unpenetrated depths of the Belgian Congo; it hopes to secure a full-grown male gorilla for the Natural History Museum in London.
That capture in itself would provide enough adventure for most folks to go on with. There are few seasoned big-game hunters whose hearts would not go pit-a-pat were they to get the great chance of coming face to face with a full-grown gorilla. ' But,' says Colonel Fenn, ' the most thrilling part of our expedition will be our attempt to solve the long-existing problem of certain unknown species of animals which the natives say live in unexplored areas.'
That is putting it modestly; for Colonel Fenn has met a hunter who has told him what every big-game hunter worth the name has heard. That there is a monster in Lake Edward -- a mysterious beast called the irizima; and irizima means 'the-thing-that-may-not-be-spoken-of.'
This mystery animal, the irizima, is said by some to be like a gigantic hippopotamus with the horns of a rhinoceros upon its head. Not long ago a madcap fellow trekked up from the Cape and plunged into the Congo forests to catch it. He declared that he saw it crashing through the reeds of a swamp, and that it was the brontosaurus -- a huge marsh animal, ten times as big as the biggest elephant. In the Cape Town clubs they called him a liar; but a famous American scientific institute guessed better, and sent out an expedition to capture this 'brontosaurus.' It was never caught. Mishaps dogged the expedition and spoiled all chance of capturing the mystery monster. - Strange Ark
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Please don't let this be true...
Best pals MATT DAMON and BEN AFFLECK are teaming up on the big screen again to remake BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID. - Contact Music
It's bad enough Hollywood is remaking The Warriors, but Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?
Who knew the copyright office had a sense of humor?
Q. How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?
A. Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. Just send it to us with a Form VA application and the $30 filing fee. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph. - U.S. Copyright Office
Monday, January 23, 2006
Bush on Abortion
"You believe, as I do, that every human life has value, that the strong have a duty to protect the weak, and that the self-evident truths of the Declaration of Independence apply to everyone, not just to those considered healthy or wanted or convenient," Bush told the abortion foes. - AP
Abortion, not just a constitutional issue, it's a Declaration of Independence issue. Has Bush even read the Declaration of Independence? The Constitution? The sad thing is, in this day and age these questions go beyond sarcasm and actually serve as legitimate questions.
If he has read it, here's hoping he paid close attention to my favorite part...
"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security." - The Declaration of Independence is available online for all to read, even you Mr. President.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Take one for the team Nevada!
In Thursday's interview, Miss Las Vegas Crystal Wosik, who won the Miss Nevada title, was asked by one of the preliminary judges about the planned nuclear waste repository at Yucca Mountain.
Wosik replied, "It has to go someplace, and that was the best-built facility in the country," Nevada's state pageant director, Nancy Ames, told the Reno Gazette Journal.
And if people die?
"We just have to take one for the team," said contestant Wosik, according to Ames. - Las Vegas Review Journal
Take one for the team?
I don't know what team's she's playing on, but it sure the hell ain't mine.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Things I didn't know...
Depot Bay, Oregon has the world's smallest (navigable) harbor.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Movies I never thought I'd like...
The Bride of Chucky and the Seed of Chucky. From slasher to camp in two easy steps. Bride acts as the bridge retaining some of the gore, but adding in a few jokes and a healthy dose of schlock, Seed knocks it out of the park. John Waters death by hydrochloric acid scene is worth five stars alone. It's fun for the whole family.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Checks and Balances...
In a 42-page white paper, the Justice Department expanded on its past arguments in laying out the legal rationale for why the N.S.A. program does not violate federal wiretap law and why the president is the nation's "sole organ" for foreign affairs.
....
In his appearance before the institute, Mr. Cheney defended the program as proper and legal in every respect. "The entire program undergoes a thorough review within the executive branch every 45 days," Mr. Cheney said. "After each review, the president determines once again whether or not to reauthorize the program. He has done so more than 30 times since Sept. 11, and he has indicated his intent to do so as long as our nation faces a continuing threat from Al Qaeda and related organizations." - New York Times
He's an organ all right.
Huh, heh, huh...I said organ.
Beware of Tupperware!
A Tupperware container suspected of being an explosive device led to the evacuation of a Reno bank and Internal Revenue Services Office this morning, Reno police said....
The consolidated Bomb Unit also arrived at the scene and dismantled the container, which was empty, Donnelly said. - RGJ
How exactly does one "dismantle" Tupperware? Couldn't they just say, opened?
Library Thing
I love this site. Catalog your books, tag them, cross-reference against other's. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
Finally finished created our books. We have 111 books to our name, which sounds about right as most of our reading is done via the public library. The library is out of financial necessity, if we were to purchase every book Molliwogg reads each month, you'd be seeing me hustling the streets for book money.
Me? I read about a book a week, but I'm still down with the library, mainly because I'm cheap.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
World's Largest Fish...Shrinking
In a decade the average size has shrunk from seven metres to five metres.
Whale sharks, the world's largest fish, are caught for food in some east Asian countries and
Australian researchers suspect this is causing a decline.
The fish is listed as "vulnerable", and one of the authors of the new study has described the new finding as "a very worrying sign". - BBC News
That sucks.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Droids for Immunization
Place Your Bets
"Two South Florida teens were involved in the beatings of three homeless men, police said, and family attorneys were negotiating their surrender." - Yahoo
I'm glad the little fucktards got caught in this disgusting tribute to the breakdown of American society, but I'm left wondering how long it's going to take (if, in fact, it hasn't happened already) for someone to blame this on a video game? You know it's going to happen, it's only a matter of when.
In the immortal words of Chris Rock, "what ever happened to crazy?"
Condiment Nation
Dear lord, has it really come to this??
"Now you can spoil your dog healthy every day when you top his food with a delicious home-style sauce. Introducing new Iams Savory Sauce made with real meat or chicken and vegetables for a taste dogs crave." - Iams
As if it's not bad enough that 79% of the nation is enjoying every meal with a infinite variety of fattening condiments and dipping sauces, we have to push this shit on our pets. Dry food not doing it for Fluffy? Throw some sauce on it and see that frown turn upside down.
Sick.
Sad.
World.
Heavy Rotation
So I'd like to know where, you got the notion
Said I'd like to know where, you got the notion
To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, don't tip the boat over
Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat
Ever since our voyage of love began
Your touch has thrilled me like the rush of the wind
And your arms have held me safe from a rolling sea
There's always been a quiet place to harbor you and me
Our love is like a ship on the ocean
We've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion
So I'd like to know where, you got the notion
Said I'd like to know where, you got the notion
To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, don't tip the boat over
Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat
Up to now we sailed through every storm
And I've always had your tender lips to keep me warm
Oh I need to have the strength that flows from you
don't let me drift away my dear, when love can see me through
Our love is like a ship on the ocean
We've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and devotion
So I'd like to know where, you got the notion
Said I'd like to know where, you got the notion
To rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat, don't tip the boat over
Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
Rock the boat- Rock the Boat by Hues Corporation
Saturday, January 14, 2006
EHC
Madonna
For the first time in about fifteen years I find myself digging a Madonna song. Hung up has been making its way on heavy rotation on every MTV/VH1 channel out there, so after about three or four hundred viewings, I've developed a soft spot for the song (admittedly a Pavlovian one). What I don't get, what I have been racking what brain cells I have left over, is one particular moment in the video. Why is Madonna dry humping a boom box? Madonna's hot for 108 or however old she is, and she's looking mighty good in the video, but a boom box? How is that even remotely erotic to anyone outside of a record store clerk?
Makes you wonder how long it will be until she buys a chimp.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Cyclops Kitty
Hermaphrodite bears and now cyclops kitties. How soon until Bigfoot shows up at Starbucks?
Cute little sucker though, too bad it died. Snopes has more.
Fireball Alert
On Sunday morning, Jan. 15th, between 1:56 and 1:59 a.m. PST (0956 - 0959 UT), a brilliant fireball will streak over northern California and Nevada. It's NASA's Stardust capsule, returning to Earth with samples of dust from Comet Wild 2. The best observing sites: near Carlin and Elko, Nevada, where the man-made meteor is expected to shine as much as 60 times brighter than Venus. - Space Weather
Country Boys
I've been watching this series on PBS the last couple days...totally fascinating. Part I and II are available online in their entirety, part III airs tonight and afterwards will be online as well. Even if you're coming in on the third half, you'll be hooked within fifteen minutes. Fascinating stuff.
Random TV Quote
"Now we're going to act like we're robots on a mission from god." - Dog the Bounty Hunter
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Hermaphrodite Polar Bears
Wildlife researchers have found new evidence that Arctic polar bears, already gravely threatened by the melting of their habitat because of global warming, are being poisoned by chemical compounds commonly used in Europe and North America to reduce the flammability of household furnishings like sofas, clothing and carpets. ...
There is also evidence that compounds similar to the PBDEs have contributed to a surprisingly high rate of hermaphroditism in polar bears. About one in 50 female bears on Svalbard has both male and female sex organs, a phenomenon scientists link directly to the effects of pollution. - Independent Online
Books Bound in Human Skin? Yummy.
Brown University's library boasts an anatomy book that combines form and function in macabre fashion. Its cover -- tanned and polished to a smooth golden brown, like fine leather -- is made of human skin.
In fact, a number of the nation's finest libraries, including Harvard's, have such books in their collections. The practice of binding books in human skin was not uncommon in centuries past, even if it was not always discussed in polite society. - Local 6
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Brilliant
"An artist who chained his legs together to draw a picture of the image hopped 12 hours through the desert after realizing he lost the key and couldn't unlock the restraints, authorities said Wednesday." - AP
If a performance artist hops through the desert, but there is no around to see, does he/she make a point?
Sick Sad World - Dead Marine, New Boobs
"Prosecutors are seeking the extradition of a woman in Florida accused of poisoning her husband - a Marine sergeant - and then using his life insurance to pay for breast enhancement and a libertine lifestyle.
Cynthia Sommer, 32, moved to Florida from San Diego in 2002 with a new boyfriend, an ex-Marine, just weeks after an autopsy performed by a military pathologist found that her husband had died of a heart attack.
Further toxicology tests determined that Sgt. Todd Sommer, 23, had died of acute arsenic poisoning. The tests were ordered by the military and confirmed by civilian experts." - LA Times
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year!
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