Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Words of wisdom from Condoleezza Rice
"Things that look like mistakes that will turn out to be great successes and things that look like great successes that will turn out to be mistakes." - Yahoo
In other news, 1+1=25
Monday, November 28, 2005
Also from Snopes
LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF IDAHO
Fifty-eighth Legislature First Regular Session - 2005
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29
BY WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE
A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND COMMENDING JARED AND JERUSHA HESS AND THE CITY OF PRESTON FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE MOVIE "NAPOLEON DYNAMITE."
Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho:
WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of "Napoleon Dynamite";
and WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth;
and WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention;
and WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export;
and WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships;
and WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics;
and WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation;
and WHEREAS, Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-honored Idaho vacation destination;
and WHEREAS, Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns; and WHEREAS, Napoleon's artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education;
and WHEREAS, the schoolwide Preston High School student body elections foster an awareness in Idaho's youth of public service and civic duty;
and WHEREAS, the "Happy Hands" club and the requirement that candidates for school president present a skit is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education;
and WHEREAS, Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships;
and WHEREAS, Kip's relationship with LaFawnduh is a tribute to e-commerce and Idaho's technology-driven industry;
and WHEREAS, Kip and LaFawnduh's wedding shows Idaho's commitment to healthy marriages;
and WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry;
and WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools;
and WHEREAS, Tina the llama, the chickens with large talons, the 4-H milk cows, and the Honeymoon Stallion showcase Idaho's animal husbandry;
and WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of the Fifty-eighth Idaho Legislature, the House of Representatives and the Senate concurring therein, that we commend Jared and Jerusha Hess and the City of Preston for showcasing the positive aspects of Idaho's youth, rural culture, education system, athletics, economic prosperity and diversity.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that we, the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate of the State of Idaho, advocate always following your heart, and thus we eagerly await the next cinematic undertaking of Idaho's Hess family.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Chief Clerk of the House of Representatives be, and she is hereby authorized and directed to forward a copy of this resolution to Jared and Jerusha Hess, the Mayor of the City of Preston and the Principal of Preston High School.
Statement of Purpose / Fiscal Impact
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
RS 15236
The purpose of this resolution is to recognize and commend Jared and Jerusha Hess for their cinematic talents by which they have increased the nation's awareness of Idaho. (Snopes)
Sick, Sad World - Fatty, Fatty
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle, researchers said on Monday.
Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug. - Reuters
12 Days of Christmas up 6.1%
"WASHINGTON (AFP) - One partridge in a pear tree: 104.99 dollars, up 12.9 percent.
Seven swans-a-swimming: 4,200 dollars, up 20 percent.
Overall, the cost of the items cited in the holiday song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is 18,348 dollars, up 6.1 percent over last year, according to the annual Christmas Price Index released Monday by PNC Bank.
...
The Internet price index was much higher for the 12 items, due to shipping and handling costs -- 29,322.80 dollars, up 5.7 percent from a year ago. "- Yahoo
In other news, the biggest shopping day of the year isn't.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
The World's Most Perfect Song
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied youTo a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Baby I've been here before, I know this room
I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the Marble Arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
I remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Maybe there's a God above, all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who out drew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
One of the many versions of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. Do yourself a favor and check out John Cale's cover, it'll change your life.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Fair & Balanced? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fox News is refusing to air an ad critical of Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito, citing its lawyers' contention that the spot is factually incorrect.
...
The ad says that as an appellate court judge, Alito has "ruled to make it easier for corporations to discriminate ... even voted to approve strip search of a 10-year-old girl." Referring to a document Alito wrote in 1985 while seeking a job in the Reagan administration, it quotes him as saying that "the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion."
The groups backing the ad include the Alliance for Justice, the Leadership Conference on Civil rights, People for The American Way and abortion rights organizations.
In a 2004 decision, the 3rd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals ruled in the case of four police officers who faced a lawsuit after the search of a mother and her 10-year-old daughter in the course of executing a search warrant for narcotics.
The court said "searching Jane and Mary Doe for evidence beyond the scope of the warrant and without probable cause violated their clearly established Fourth Amendment rights." The court pointed out that "a search warrant for a premises does not constitute a license to search everyone inside."
Alito dissented in the case, saying the best reading of the warrant is that it authorized the search of anyone found on the premises. He added that even if the warrant didn't explicitly give that authorization, "a reasonable police officer could certainly have read the warrant as doing so." - AP
Monday, November 21, 2005
Sick Sad World - Santorum Vindicated
"That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." - "Rick Sanitarium" Santorum
He failed to mentioned man on mannequin...
"A teenager has been charged with indecent exposure after he was caught trying to have sex with a female mannequin on display at an arts centre.
Security guards found Michael Plentyhorse, 18, sprawled with the dummy on the floor with his trousers and pants down.
Police spokesman Loren McManus said: "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin." - Sky News
Sunday, November 20, 2005
At least he didn't puke on anyone.
"Irked by a reporter who told him he seemed to be "off his game" at a Beijing public appearance, President George W. Bush sought to make a hasty exit from a news conference but was thwarted by locked doors.
...
"I was trying to escape. Obviously, it didn't work," Bush quipped, facing reporters again until an aide rescued him by pointing to him toward the correct door." - Washington Post
Friday, November 18, 2005
Excerpt - The Truth (with jokes)
"It's a cliche to say that the Bush administration's use of language is Orwellian. After all, the "Healthy Forest Initiative" won't make forests healthy. Much to the contrary. It will make them gone. And the pro-air pollution Clear Skies Initiative is designed to clear the skies of birds. And then there's the slogan of Bush's newly created Ministry of Truth: "War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength." All of those things can be justly described as Orwellian. I mean, who's he kidding?
But Newspeak isn't the only thing Orwellian about this presidency. In Orwell's dystopian classic 1984, the totalitarian state of Oceania is kept in a state of permanent war by Big Brother, who is the oldest of four sons of a former president. Big Brother's younger brother Younger Brother is really named Jeb, and is much smarter than Big Brother. Eerie, right? Anyway. Back to the permanent war. It doesn't matter who the enemy is or whether the enemy is actually threatening Oceania; the important thing is to keep the population thinking that it is under attach from an external threat. And just like in 1984, where the enemy is switched from Eurasia to Eastasia, Bush switched our enemy from al Qaeda to Iraq. Bush's War on Terror is a war against whomever Bush wants to be at war with." - Al Franken The Truth (with jokes)
Monday, November 14, 2005
You might be a terrorist if...
Ever help a friend move?
Oppose the use of fossil fuels?
Ever helped out or supported Food Not Bombs?
Against whaling?
Support the use of electric cars?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may be surprised to learn that the F.B.I. considers you a potential terrorist.
Guerrero Dead @ 38
"Eduardo Gory Guerrero, a World Wrestling Entertainment superstar was found dead in his hotel room Sunday in Minneapolis, where he was scheduled to appear that evening in a WWE Supershow. He was 38.
....
In February 2004, Guerrero became the second wrestler of Hispanic heritage to be WWE champion (Pedro Morales being the first) when he defeated Brock Lesnar, a former University of Minnesota wrestling standout. Guerrero lost the title four months later." - AP
If only this were true...
The case of Andrew Stimpson, 25, who was diagnosed as HIV-positive in 2002 but found to be clear of the virus in 2003, has stunned the medical world. If doctors can establish why this happened, without treatment, it could benefit the 34.9 million virus carriers worldwide.
....
A spokeswoman for the Trust said: "I can confirm that he has a positive and a negative test. - The Independent
It seems about as likely the Bush administration paying a visit to the Wizard of Oz, but man, how cool would that be if it were true?
You Say It's Your Birthday
Happy Birthday Molliwogg!!!
Friday, November 11, 2005
Rewriting History?
President Bush forcefully attacked critics of the war in Iraq on Friday, accusing them of trying to rewrite history and saying they are undercutting American forces on the front lines.
"The stakes in the global war on terror are too high and the national interest is too important for politicians to throw out false charges," the president said in his combative Veterans Day speech.
Defending the march to war, Bush said that foreign intelligence services and Democrats and Republicans alike were convinced at the time that former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.
"Some Democrats and anti-war critics are now claiming we manipulated the intelligence and mislead the American people about why we went to war," Bush said. - AP
Rewriting History?
Rewriting History?
Rewriting History?
Rewriting History?
Rewriting History?
Give me a break.
Bill O'Reilly, Classy Guy
"...If al-Qaida comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead." - Bill O'Reilly
Between O'Reilly & Pat Robertson, it's getting harder and harder for conservatives to make the farty old argument that it's the liberals that hate America.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Sick Sad World - Headless Lawn Bowling
A man who allegedly decapitated a 17-year-old boy with a tomahawk in a suburban back yard later was said to have played with the teenager's head, rolling it in a paddock as if it were a bowling ball.
A chilling videotape showing police interviewing one of two men charged with the murder of transient teen Morgan Jay Shepherd was played in Brisbane Magistrates Court yesterday. - The Advertiser
Stuck in my head - I Can't Forget
I stumbled out of bed
I got ready for the struggle
I smoked a cigarette
And I tightened up my gut
I said this can't be me
Must be my double
And I can't forget,
I can't forget, I can't forget but I don't remember what
I'm burning up the road
I'm heading down to Phoenix
I got this old address
Of someone that I knew
It was high and fine and free
Ah, you should have seen us
And I can't forget, I can't forget
I can't forget but I don't remember who
I'll be there today
With a big bouquet of cactus
I got this rig that runs on memories
And I promise, cross my heart,
They'll never catch us
But if they do, just tell them it was me
Yeah I loved you all my life
And that's how I want to end it
The summer's almost gone
The winter's tuning up
Yeah, the summer's gone
But a lot goes on forever
And I can't forget, I can't forget
I can't forget but I don't remember what - I Can't Forget by Leonard Cohen
Monday, November 07, 2005
$$$
President George W. Bush and the current Administration have now borrowed more money from foreign governments and banks than the previous 42 U.S. presidents combined.
Throughout the first 224 years (1776-2000) of our nation's history, 42 U.S. presidents borrowed a combined $1.01 trillion from foreign governments and financial institutions according to the U.S. Treasury Department. In the past four years alone (2001-2005), the Bush Administration has borrowed a staggering $1.05 trillion. - The Stakeholder (via Beerdrinker.org)
But remember kids, the Republican party is all about fiscal responsibility.
Meanwhile Dick & the Chimp (Which would actually make a great band name, Dick & the Chimps. It's certainly no worse than say, REO Speedwagon.) are sending out the clear concise message that we either torture people or we don't. Stealing from David Spade for a minute, but this routine was a hell of a lot funnier when the Smothers Brothers did it.
Wake me up when Hillary is president.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Ha!
"Americans are tired of investigations and scandal, and the best way to get rid of them is to elect a new president who will bring a new administration, who will restore honor and dignity to the White House." (Then-Governor George Bush on CNN's "Burden of Proof," 9/15/00)
Say what you want about the chimp, but he's going to have one hell of a stand-up comedy career after leaving Washington.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Boredom
Saw this floating about the internet, so I figured I'm bored, what the hell.
Favorite Beatles song: Across the Universe
Favorite solo song by a former Beatle: Tie between Instant Karma-Lennon & Wonderful Christmastime-McCartney.
Favorite Bob Dylan song: I despise Bob Dylan.
Favorite Pixies song: I Can't Forget (Leonard Cohen cover) with every other song they've ever done tied for second place.
Favorite Prince song: Tie between Starfish & Coffee and Controversy
Favorite Michael Jackson song: Four-way tie - Rock With You, Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough, Billie Jean, & Black or White
Favorite Metallica song: Three-way tie - Battery, One & Fade to Black, with Fade to Black holding a microscopic lead.
Favorite Public Enemy song: Brothers Gonna Work it Out
Favorite Depeche Mode song: Tie between In Your Room & Enjoy the Silence
Favorite Cure song: A Night Like This
Favorite song that most of your friends haven't heard: As a Matter of Fact by Spare Snare
Favorite Beastie Boys song: Tie between Paul Revere & Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
Favorite Police song: Canary in a Coalmine
Favorite Sex Pistols song: Holidays in the Sun
Favorite song from a movie: Hot Patootie Bless My Soul by Meat Loaf from Rocky Horror Picture Show
Favorite Blondie song: Dreaming
Favorite Genesis song: No such thing.
Favorite Led Zeppelin song: Three-way tie between Over the Hills & Far Away, Going to California & D'yer Mak'er
Favorite INXS song: Listen Like Thieves
Favorite Weird Al song: I kind of like them all.
Favorite Pink Floyd song: Wish You Were Here
Favorite cover song: Gin & Juice (Snoop Dogg) - The Gourds vs. Ball of Confusion (The Temptations) - Love & Rockets vs. Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd) - Scissor Sisters vs. Louie, Louie (Kingsmen) - Black Flag vs. Let's Go All the Way (Sly Fox) - Insane Clown Posse vs. Kiss (Prince) - Art of Noise/Tom Jones vs. Stripped (Depeche Mode) - Rammstein vs. Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics) - Marilyn Manson vs. Angel (Jimi Hendrix) - Christian Death vs. about a hundred more, it's too hard to narrow it down to one.
Favorite dance song: This would have to depend on the mood but to throw a few out there...Finally - CeCe Peniston, That's The Way (I Like It) - Dead or Alive, More - Sisters of Mercy, Da Ya Think I'm Sexy - Revolting Cocks, etc., etc.
Favorite U2 song: Until the End of the World
Favorite disco song: Go West - Village People
Favorite The Who song: Baba O'Riley
Favorite Elton John song: Tiny Dancer
Favorite Clash song: Bankrobber
Favorite David Bowie song: Wild is the Wind - still the most romantic song I've ever heard.
Favorite Nirvana song: Sliver
Favorite Snoop Dogg song: For All My Niggaz & Bitches
Favorite Ice Cube song: Hello
Favorite Johnny Cash song: Guess Things Happen That Way tied with I've Been Everywhere
Favorite R.E.M. song: Tie between the two F's - Fretless & Fall on Me
Favorite Elvis song: There's no way to answer this, but for the sake of argument I'll go with Here Comes Santa Claus.
Favorite cheesy-ass country song: Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers tied with Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks (And if you're wondering John, yes, I still blame you for this one.)
Favorite Billy Joel song: It's Still Rock & Roll to Me
Favorite Bruce Springsteen song: Downbound Train
Favorite Big Audio Dynamite song: V Thirteen
Favorite New Order song: Touched by the Hand of God leads the pack but it's essentially an all-way tie between everything else. New Order has never put out a lame song.
Favorite Neil Diamond song: Sweet Caroline
Favorite Squeeze song: The song I'm humming as I squeeze the trigger mowing down these useless fucks.
Favorite Smiths song: Reel Around the Fountain
Favorite Tragically Hip Song: n/a
Favorite Guns 'N Roses song: Three-way tie between It's So Easy, Rocket Queen & 3/4 of Use Your Illusion II
Favorite Jimi Hendrix song: Never really liked Hendrix.
Favorite Queen song: Killer Queen
Favorite Radiohead song: Not really into Radiohead, but Thom York's collaboration with U.N.K.L.E. on Rabbit in Your Headlights is pretty lofty.
As seems to be the custom, here's my additions...
Favorite Doors song: Spanish Caravan
Favorite Judas Priest song: You've Got Another Thing Coming tied with Turbo Lover
Favorite Devo song: Gates of Steel tied with Peek-A-Boo
Favorite White Stripes song: Little Ghost
Favorite Van Halen: This is a trick question as there is only one acceptable answer...the David Lee Roth years. Every song should be your favorite, if not you have no business listening to music in the first place.
Favorite Sinatra song: A Marshmallow World (With Dean Martin) tied with Call Me
Favorite Parliament song: Give Up the Funk (Tear the Roof Off the Sucka)
Through The Looking Glass
Classic
"In a memo sent to all White House aides on Friday, the counsel's office said it will hold briefings next week on ethics, with a particular focus on the rules governing the handling of classified information. Attendance is mandatory for anyone holding any level of security clearance." - Yahoo
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Excerpt - Relevance
"Science is more than a body of knowledge; it is a way of thinking. I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time - when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the key manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness." - Carl Sagan from The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark
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