Saturday, June 14, 2003
To the Spammers
To the Spammers,
Wouldn't you kill to have a larger penis? (Would I? I have!)
PINACLE gives me bursting confidence and electric sexual energy and makes me feel like I can lift up a Mac Truck with my pinky finger. (PCP tends to have the same effect, with the added bonus of actually being able to life up a Mac Truck with the pinky finger.)
I used to be shy around girls and always scared of what they would say when I pulled down my pants. (I spy, something in my eye, something that begins with flasher.)
Ask your wife or girlfriend RIGHT NOW if she wants you to have a larger penis. (Excuse me, honey...?)
When she says "size doesn't matter, honey", she must be talking about your CAR not your penis! (What about when she says, "Ask your mother you no good sonofanogood- somethingorother?")
Think of your beautiful wife or girlfriend in lingerie, lying on the bed in front of you, as you show her an extra two inches of your manhood. (Personally, I would feel like the paperboy in Better off Dead, "I want my two inches!")
Get ready for the most explosive sex of your life - your partner will think there's a tornado between the sheets. (Couldn't they have thought of a better metaphor? When I think tornado I think wind, when I think wind I think...)
Forget the pumps, vacuums or painful squeezing and stretching. PINACLE is an all-natural herbal formula that will add at least two inches to your penis in under ten days. (An inch every five days eh? Of course that won't involve any painful squeezing and stretching.)
But don't take my word for it - try it yourself. Every hotrod needs NITROUS! SHAZAAAAM! (Every hotrod needs nitrous, and every inbox needs Spam. They do get brownie points for the Shazaaaam bit, that was a nice touch.)
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